Brian and I have totally different sleep needs. I can go a week with 4-5 hours and he doesn’t last 2 days with that. Many nights, that means that he goes to bed while I sit in the living room and read a book, work or watch tv (between the heat and work frying my brain cells lately and the Olympics on, tv has won this battle a lot lately).
Some nights, our different bed times don’t bother me. But what I find is that if we do it for an extended period of time, I feel disconnected from him—even if I have spent the entire day with him. So, most of the time, I either stay in the living room and pretend not to be interested in the “Worst Tenants” show he’s watching (ok—confession—that show is a train wreck I can’t seem to turn away from!), or I go to bed when he does. It doesn’t mean we talk. Typically, at that time in the night, he has used all of his words for the day and I may babble every now and then, but I spend my energy on Matching and Scramble with Friends.
We had dinner—just the two of us one night this week. We even shared a dessert like they do in the romantic movies. And it was nice.
But I have to say, I know I’m weird, but I felt more content last night as I was laying in bed next to him, watching the Olympic swim team’s video to “Call Me Maybe” one more time now that I knew who most of them were. When I finished, Brian watched a video on zebra mussels that I pretended not to be interested in, but was actually fascinated at a couple of points. Not much talking between us, just being.
That’s when I enjoy marriage the most—not when I’m doing, but when I’m just being with him. Call me weird, or a homebody, or a nerd, but it works for us. What works for you?