A few years ago, when I was riding my daughter's bike (because I was too cheap to buy one of my own), I felt the burn when I was halfway down it. You know the feeling--when you have to stand on the pedals, but your legs are so shaky you feel like you are gonna topple sideways? Or maybe that's just me.
ANYWAY, I could never figure out why it was so hard--it looked flat and surely I wasn't THAT out of shape (which I probably was, but telling ourselves little white lies every now and then is okay). Then, one day, I mentioned it to someone else and they said that there was no way that street was flat--there was definitely an incline--you just couldn't see it because it was so gradual, but anyone who walked/rode on it definitely felt it.
That's kinda how life is these days. Now, don't get me wrong--there are several things that make that street harder to travel--like the wind in my face this morning and the podcast that stopped working yesterday and the zero dark thirty it looks like out there. BUT, it's the getting up and going anyway. Even when I know that I will have to do more than just walking a mile and a half to get rid of this overly excessive amount of weight my body seems to want to hold onto. Even when I know it means I will have to juggle some other things and figure out what I won't have time for today. Even when my legs feel like jelly from JUST WALKING!
And even when I look back and it doesn't seem like it should've been that hard for as little progress as I made.
What I feel like God is telling me is to continue to be faithful in the small things. "Do the basics and don't stop. Empty the dishwasher when you are tired. Put that load of laundry in the washer before you go to work. Answer that next phone call at work and follow through on what needs to be done. Make the time to sit with ME--even though you think you need to plug in and work."
It's not glamorous. It's not even fun most days. And I certainly don't look back at the end of the day and see much progress (the sink is ALWAYS full of dishes, there is ALWAYS laundry that is waiting, the girls ALWAYS seem to want to eat lunch--go figure--I could go on and on, but you get it). Somedays it's only walking 1/2 a mile because that's all I can do in the moment.
BUT, it's consistent. It's putting one foot in front of the other when I'd rather just sit.
And while I wish that one day I will look back on this time and see how God was preparing me in this season for something BIG and GLORIOUS, I'm not setting my hopes on that. I'm trying to hear His voice in the little (emphasis on trying--I don't do that very well most days) and have it be enough.
Today, that means walking that hill and putting the blanket the dog peed on in the wash and making lunches and choosing to not open up work email so that I can sit and listen (and maybe even shaving my legs when I know I'm wearing pants to cover them up anyway--I know TMI--guess this is where I need to stop, before this gets really awkward).
It also looks like writing this blog when I know the words are not necessarily life-changing or ah-ha moments for me or anyone reading them.
But I do it because it's the next step in front of me and sometimes, that it enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment