I read a quote by John Ortberg today that I just loved: "God never grows 2 people the same way, God is a hand-crafter, not a mass-producer. God does not do 'One size fits all.'"
Oh, how that makes me so happy! It sounds simple, but so often I find myself in the trap of trying to do things that work for other people, but are so against who I am at my core.
My girls are such a perfect example of this. Hope hates new environments; Caroline sees them as new opportunities to make more friends. Hope would rather be outside playing hard; Caroline is quite content to stay inside and snuggle in front of the tv. Hope is a thinker; Caroline is a feeler. I don't parent them the same way. If I did that, neither one would ever excel at being themselves. So why do I think that God wants me to grow the same way as He is growing someone else?
Just as my job is to parent my kids based on who they are in their core, my job is to worship God in the way that He made me to worship Him--not the way He made Brian to worship Him (which I'm really glad, because Brian's idea of great worship is sitting in a tree-stand for hours watching the nature God has created--that is soooo not my idea of worship).
I wish I could say I knew exactly how He wired me. I've spent so many years trying to live up to certain expectations--some set by me, some by others--that it may take me a while to figure out what really makes me come alive. In the past, this might have overwhelmed me (Hope is, after all, my daughter), but right now, in the place I am, it is very freeing. It makes me feel that anticipation like I felt when I was a kid and could hear the ice cream man on the next block--I just knew he was coming down my street next and I was out front, on my sidewalk, money in hand, waiting to see what kind of goodies I was about to get.
So for today, I'm being a bit sacrilegious and choosing to view God as the driver of an ice cream truck (if I'd ever been to the famous Frisco Snow Cone Lady, I'd probably think of Him in that way, but just haven't had the patience to stand in a line yet that wraps around the block). Once again, I've gone off my mark here--back to why I'm being sacrilegious.
Just like the ice cream man, I believe God knows I would love to have those goodies, but if I'm not outside when the ice cream man passes by, then I miss out. I don't believe I will ever miss-out on God's goodies, He'll continue to circle around the block for me, but I do have a responsiblity to listen for Him and go where I know He is. Although, He won't charge me an arm and a leg for my goodie that I could have bought a whole box of at the store for the same cost... And I don't believe He's a creepy-looking guy like a lot of the ice cream truck drivers I've seen... And He never runs out of the goodie I want...
So, maybe the ice cream man wasn't such a good example. You get my point anyway...I hope.