C: "I need a band-aid--I scraped my toe on the sidewalk."
Me: "We need to wash it with soap and water first"
C: "I already cleaned it with water"
Me: "You just came in the house. You don't have any water outside."
C: "Yes I do. I used my spit."
Yep, those are my redneck children running down the street with no shoes on and spitting on their feet. We've got class in the Royal house.