When our Kids Choose Their Own Way

I remember my brother telling me about a conversation he had with my dad several years ago.  The gist was my dad was disappointed that none of his kids followed in his footsteps because we attended different types of churches than him.  My brother pointed out that we actually HAD followed in his steps--2 of us were on staff at our respective churches at that time.

When Brandon told me about the conversation, I felt disappointed.  The church I worked for had more things in common with the one I grew up in than it had differences and I wished my dad saw that.  Although we never had a direct conversation about it, I think he came to understand this before he died.

We had a similar situation on the other side of the family.  We disappointed a sweet grandmother because we did not have a priest perform our marriage ceremony and we didn't baptize our girls as babies. 

I have 2 high schoolers now.  They have found a spots in small groups--each at different churches--and neither are the one we attend on Sundays.  I won't lie and say I haven't had issues with that and tried to influence them with bribery to attend ours.  Or that I don't get a little bit jealous when I see families all in sync with what they believe and how they express that belief. 

And the ironic thing about these churches?  Both of them are very similar to the one I grew up in.  And both are filled with people who love and pray for my girls.  So when I start the arguments in my head to try to "sell" my church to them, I am reminded of that conversation between Dad and Brandon and Brian and Granny.  And part of me is proud--that I have daughters who know what they want and won't be persuaded to settle for something different.  And another part of me is shocked that I am not quite as flexible as I would like to believe.

And through it all, I can choose to focus on our differences or I can remember that we have more in common than not.