An Anniversary We Won't Forget

It’s that crazy time of year again when I have lots of blogging thoughts, but no energy to put them on paper and arrange them until they make sense.

Two weeks ago, Brian landed in the hospital. The night I took him in, I had plans to post some fun crawfish boil pics I had and was thinking of what kind of post to do for our 12th anniversary.

Instead, I found myself sitting by his side in the E.R., as he went into congestive heart failure, couldn’t breathe and had a bp so low that it still scares me when I think about it. He went in with abdomen pain and ended up having a severe allergic reaction to the dye they used for his ct scan.

The seriousness of it all really didn’t hit me until this past week. It took him almost 2 weeks to get back to the normal Brian I know who tickles our girls and hits me on the butt with a towel. The thought of losing him makes me want to curl up in a ball. Dramatic, I know, but it’s the truth.

The funny thing is, I never thought I would be “that kind of wife.” You know, the one who consults with her husband about every decision, constantly talks about him, calls/texts him throughout the day—just because. But I am. And I’m not apologizing for it.

As I was driving home from the hospital the next day—after spending our anniversary next to him dozing in the chair beside his bed, this song kept playing over and over in my head: When You Say Nothing At All.  I’ve always liked it, but it has new meaning now.

One of the things Brian has taught me is that words are not always necessary.

Brian's Hospital Stay--According to Caroline

Caroline explained to her teacher today that Brian was in the hospital.

Here is what she told her:

"Daddy can't wear panties at the hospital, and the shirt that he wears is open in the back so we can see his butt crack."

Guess I should think twice about how I describe things when trying to lighten the mood and help my girls to not be scared.

Things I learned in San Francisco

• There are more registered dogs in SF than children (seriously--according to our tour guide, this is true)

• For someone who hates to drive, public transportation rocks!

• There is no such thing as personal space

• It takes more than 4 days to get used to the 2 hour time change

• 9 years is too long to go before seeing a good friend again--way too long

• To be a tour guide, you gotta like talking to yourself and laughing at your own jokes

• The homeless population is staggering

• When the airline (followed by a 7 block walk) ruins your suitcase, there are several great places to buy another one  (so take your time and pick the brightest, orangiest one you an find)

• Being a tourist and taking the touristy pictures is fun

• You CAN have too many maps

• If you miss one bus, just wait—another is on the way

• Taxi drivers know how to drive defensively—VERY defensively

• Splurging on a pedicure is well worth the ½ mile walk to get there and back

• The local neighborhood dive is a great place to start and end your time

• San Francisco is a great place to celebrate 20 years of friendship

Ducks, Dates and Delightful Dummies

I've got a new favorite show.  At first, I was a little embarrassed to admit it, but I've gotten past that.  It's  so funny that if you aren't watching it, I want to convert you.  It's not a show I would have ever picked on my own.  It's one of those shows that Brian watches at night while I read a book, work on the computer or play games on my phone.

Have I built up enough suspense yet?  It's Duck Dynasty.  It makes me laugh out loud every week.  In fact, we record it so that the girls can watch it, and I laugh out loud the 2nd time I watch it, too.  Paired with Survivor, it's become our Wednesday night date night.

A few weeks ago, I was moaning about how Brian and I never took time for each other.  We've never  been great "daters"--even before we were married.  We're both home-bodies.  While I love a good steak, my hubby is the best cook I know and I would rather eat something he made, sit by the firepit or watch a movie from the Rebox than go out and spend a ton of money (guess that also means I'm cheap).

Anyway, we don't plan dates very often.  We don't tell each other how  much we adore and appreciate the other every day. We don't buy each other expensive gifts or make a big deal out of our anniversary.  When I look at facebook, or hear others talk, I start to analyze  our relationship and worry that we are too comfortable and that something is missing. 

Maybe I'm finally getting wise because the big 4-0 is right around the corner, but I've come to realize that while those things work for some people, they are really not what speaks love to me.  I've always thought they did, but as I look back on my favorite times with Brian, it's never been from one of those nights. 

It's times like last night--sitting together on the sofa, watching Duck Dynasty and Survivor, fast-forwarding through all the comercials, and having to pause it every once in a while when a kid gets out  of her bed to "tell us something important."  It's feeling like a team as we rewind the show so we don't miss any funny parts, discussing how stupid some of the survivors are, and laughing at the excuses our daughters make. It's waking up the next morning with a smile still on my face, and my heart softened toward my husband.

It's times when we are on the same page and there are no expectations.  When we are together, just "being" and not trying to orchestrate romance.  It's re-defining date night for the Royals and being okay with who we are--as long as it draws us closer. 

It's anticipating the next one and knowing, as the old song says, "there ain't no place that I'd rather be, then next to you, sitting next to me."  Especially when that place is our couch.  Watching bearded rednecks and skinny dummies.