It’s that crazy time of year again when I have lots of blogging thoughts, but no energy to put them on paper and arrange them until they make sense.
Instead, I found myself sitting by his side in the E.R., as he went into congestive heart failure, couldn’t breathe and had a bp so low that it still scares me when I think about it. He went in with abdomen pain and ended up having a severe allergic reaction to the dye they used for his ct scan.
The seriousness of it all really didn’t hit me until this past week. It took him almost 2 weeks to get back to the normal Brian I know who tickles our girls and hits me on the butt with a towel. The thought of losing him makes me want to curl up in a ball. Dramatic, I know, but it’s the truth.
The funny thing is, I never thought I would be “that kind of wife.” You know, the one who consults with her husband about every decision, constantly talks about him, calls/texts him throughout the day—just because. But I am. And I’m not apologizing for it.
As I was driving home from the hospital the next day—after spending our anniversary next to him dozing in the chair beside his bed, this song kept playing over and over in my head: When You Say Nothing At All. I’ve always liked it, but it has new meaning now.
One of the things Brian has taught me is that words are not always necessary.