What I wish I'd have said

So I got this wild hair this morning and entered a contest for a trip to Rwanda with Jen Hatmaker, Jenni Allen and a bunch of other really cool people.  I thought about it for a few hours, but when I sat down and did it, I was impulsive.

I wrote a "funny" piece about why they should pick me.

I posted one of the most unattractive pictures of myself for the entry.

And, after I posted my plea for votes on facebook, I immediately regretted it. 

I had 350 words to sell myself.  And for those of you who know me, I'll spend the first 500 words of a conversation apologizing for not being "enough", dropping the ball, being mean, etc.  So, only giving me 350 words to tell why I "deserve" a trip like this is crazy--like there's a way to deserve something this amazing!

After I hit send and almost broke my arm reaching back to pat myself on the back for putting myself out there, I read some of the other admissions. 

And I looked at THEIR pictures. 

And I realized, I am the longest long shot there is to win this.

Really. 

This is not just me being humble.  I'm a bit embarrassed and feel the need to apologize to them for wasting their time when there are so many others who have a bigger platform and would probably do more with it after a trip like this.

I wish I would have told them about my heart for Lovepacs and how I KNEW God wanted me to take a step of faith to send that very first email to friends--the email that others were just waiting for because God had been stirring in their hearts, too. And that now I'm along for the ride while He does amazing things through community.

I wish I had told them that I have this far-fetched dream of writing and traveling the country to advocate for those less fortunate for me.  To explain WHY I feel the need to be a voice for others--even though I do a poor job of it for myself. 

I wish I had told them I lead a ministry of kids and adults and students who all change the world each and every week and that I get a front row seat to watching God work in and through them.

And I sooooo wish I had sent in a better picture.  Really--a double (maybe triple)-chin picture of me holding a chicken???  What was I thinking??? 

But I didn't do any of those things.

And I DO really want to go (along with the rest of the country, I'm sure!). 

So, would you help me out and go vote for me--if for no other reason than that you don't want to see me sitting there with 5 votes while all the others have hundreds and thousands.  Yep, after all I've done today, I'm not above asking for the pity vote. 

Here's the link:  http://www.noondaycollection.com/styleforjustice#view/23056/2105489.

If you vote, would you leave me a comment below, letting me know you did.  I feel the need to apologize to you in person the next time we cross paths. 

Much thanks!