Sunday, January 5, 2014

Waiting

Have you ever been stuck in an airport because of a delayed flight?  I have, but it was only a few hours.  My dad has been trying to get home from New York since yesterday morning and will be staying another night in St. Louis tonight--hopefully leaving tomorrow.

Even though I'm not waiting on a flight, I kinda feel like he must feel.  I know I have a destination and I'll get there eventually, but not the way I originally planned it.  I'm in that waiting phase of life, but not really sure what I'm waiting for.

I heard a great sermon today about waiting in the pit.  I don't feel like I am in a pit right now, but I'm also not on the mountain.  I'm in one of those in-between places.  Those places where I want to enjoy the things happening--not taking anything for granted, but not really sure if I should be doing something else instead of just sitting here.  Does that make any sense at all? 

And all this to say, I'm not pining for something to happen--I'm really fine where I am.  I'm not anxious to move on--mainly because life is so fast most days, I've learned to enjoy the slower days. 

But, there is this stirring inside.  This little feeling that I have telling me God's got something planned that's gonna blow my socks off.  That's how I first felt before Lovepacs started.  That's how I felt when Lovepacs moved into Frisco.  That's how I felt right before I found out I would be moving to our Frisco campus. 

It's that feeling that I'm gonna be starting over soon.  And while I've learned from past experience that it will be great, there's a little bit of fear inside me, too.  What if it's down a  totally different path than I'm on?  What if it's a rocky, overgrown path that I have to fight my way down?  What if it leads me to something hard? 

But in it all, I rest.  Some might call it lazy, but I enjoy the days I don't have to shower and get out of my jammies (I'm not sure my family enjoys them as much).  I'm learning to look around me and not just sit in my chair with my nose buried in a book or stay in my bed and sleep because I am so utterly exhausted.  To open my eyes and see the things I'm normally too busy to notice like the fact that my youngest has a ton of beautiful freckles and my oldest can now wear the same size shoe as me (and she just got several new pair of really cute ones!).  Or the fact that I really do admire my hubby--even while sitting at the dump with him.

I first this song on a summer mission project in college with CRU--never realized it was from U2--makes me love it even more as it's been running through my head all day: http://youtu.be/1XzHlySYR_Y

So I wait--not really patiently, but somewhat content.  But the stirring is still there...

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